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Zombies wearing pinstripes are the last thing you want to see when you wake up in the morning.

Certainly there is nothing all-too-terrifying about pinstripes on their own; they are merely a pattern on clothing and indeed often make one more attractive than, say, tartan, or houndstooth especially. People wearing pinstripes often have rather good fashion sense, even. Waking up to zombies may seem a rather awful predicament, but surely you can overcome that by realizing that zombies are mindless and that you could probably defeat them by whipping round with your pillow and knocking their heads from their shoulders, thus feeling fairly confident that their brains have rotted sufficiently enough to prevent them from successfully locating their heads again.

However, waking up to zombies that are wearing pinstripes may be disastrous. For you see, in order for a zombie to have good enough fashion sense to choose pinstripes over less aesthetically pleasing patterns, it is fair to guess that the brains in its head are not very decomposed at all, and thus a mere decapitation will do far less to deter it than it would a typical fashion-impaired zombie. You will most assuredly have a very difficult time escaping, and should your brains be eaten you will have only one positive thought in your head: at least the last thing you saw before dying was something attractive like pinstripes, and not houndstooth.

(Alternatively, the impeccable fashion sense could imply that the zombie is a homosexual, in which case if you are a man he may be after something other than brains. If this appears to be the case, it is highly advisable that you, good sir, flee the vicinity of the zombie as quickly as possible. Stopping to retrieve personal possessions is not advised.)

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